Now, the pirates are being blamed for slowing down the delivery of broadband internet to Africa. According to a report in the FT, the managers of Seacomm - a $600m project to connect Africa to the global broadband network - reported they had to suspend their efforts for fear of pirate attacks.
If you read the details, the delay was a wise bit of caution. Those ships are massive - they carry about 4,000 miles of fiberoptic cable - and slow, a prime target.
But come on. Aren't we going a little far here. What else can you blame on the pirates? Here are a few ideas:
- Sorry I was late to work because I had to fortify my car in case of pirate attack
- I don't have my homework because the Somali pirates took it
- The US economic stimulus plan is delayed because Somali pirates claim to have several shovel-ready projects we need to vet
- Oh, yeah, I'd love to go to the prom with you but Somali pirates are holding my parents hostage so I should probably stick around for the ransom negotiations
- Oh, honey, I didn't forget our wedding anniversary; it's just that Somali pirates grabbed me on the way to the jewelry store and there wasn't time to pick anything up before my daring escape
- I think the tooth fairy is being held by the Somali pirates. They probably want all her tooth money for ransom. I'm sure she'll make it tonight though.